If you had a chance....

What questions would you have asked before you got married? What things on your part would you have change, noticed, encouraged, realized before you made the decision to marry? What suggestion or advice would you give someone who is going to get married? You know the kind of things you wish someone would of told you. No matter how embarrassing, or unconventional.

Self-worth

God, I wish I knew how important that word was when I was much younger. I wish my mother taught me how valuable she was too herself and how important I would be to me when I become an adult. I wish I knew that I am my own problem and therefore my only salvation other than the obvious (which is God.)
I wish how powerful a lesson in life it is to learn to love oneself and truly embrace your presence, your moment, and understand your true purpose. I have met, lived, loved, imitated, cherished many men and women and for so many they have no clue how important they are in my life because they don't value themselves. I wish to one day to let everyone realize the importance of us as individuals, as teachers, mothers, fathers, lovers, best friends, providers, caretakers, and beings. I hope to one day remind all of us that we only mean so much, and do so much when we love ourselves with so little. I only want to love myself unconditionally, with no promise, no remorse, no excuse, no rational reasoning...so I can one day give all that love and more to my children, my family, significant other and my close friends.
You see they say this over and over again but today I got it.... You can't offer something you ain't got. Man, isn't that the truth.
Respect,
Me

My new obsession....

Up cycled sweater coats are my new passion. I don't know what about them I love so much but I need one. I see them on etsy.com and they look so damn beautiful. But the ones I want are either tooooo expensive or not available.
So what does that mean? I might have to make one, two or a thousand of them. But where do I start? All they are is a bunch of sweater cut up then re sewn together to make a beautiful coat/sweater. But as an amateur sewer this looks real complicated and scary. I don't know but it doesn't hurt to try....(evil grin). Now I just have to get a serger and hope for the best.

Moving on.....hoping for better.

This has been a weird month for me...

1) I realize dating right after a break up is very discouraging.

2) There is something to be said about online dating...it's frustrating, people are extremely particular, you become one of those people ( I mean you become very snobbish.)

3) You can't heal wounds by replacing them with other things.

4) I am not patient at all.

I seem to be on a rush but where too... I have no idea. I just want something to happen but I am not sure what? I don't want children (not right now)and I certainly don't want to be in a long term relationship that I am not ready for, but I am looking. So what is really going on?

My projects are all held up because I am dating, going to school and trying to be more social which I found out the hard way takes money and time! But it's better being home wishing things would change....right?

Oh another thing I HATE SCHOOL!!!! But that's just part of the deal if I want a degree and do something with myself. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of becoming a behavioral psychologist, it's the nonsense courses is what is bugging me.

Anyway I should be getting done with the dress and to help me through this weird time in my life I am doing more shoe shopping.

The black and red I already brought and the pretty in pink is one I will be getting. I LOVE SHOES!!!!!

Don't worry I will be making outfits soon.

Almost there!!!!

I wanted to post an update on my dress but as usual other projects took priority like school. So I am forced to hold out until I am completely done with the dress. I am done with the tears and hemming, now it's the zippers and a few finishing touches.

Moving on as of late I have been on a pink phase...everything in the hue of pink to fuchsia has got my attention. the only problem is I only brought shoes in those hues I don't own any garment that has ANY of these colors. Oh well another excuse to shop.

These shoes are not anything special but they are beautiful...I got one from Bakers and the other was from J.C. Penny's. I don't usually where heals but these are definitely the exception.

Well that's it for now hopefully I will be done with the dress real soon, until then ...Goodnight.

A.S.

Are we obsessed with being happy?

The other day I came to a conclusion that as a society we are addicted to the idea of being "HAPPY" (forgive me I don't have a degree in sociology), but it seems to be a trend that either hasn't been truly studied or understood.
Everyone seem to strive to be happy but forget that there is an effort that has to be made in order to stay or be in that state of mind. It's a conscious decision to develop another attitude and perception, in order to get to a better place. Notice I didn't state happy, but better. Happiness is important but for me Joy is much better. Why? What's the difference....for me personally happiness is an emotion that happens in the moment, Joy is an experience, a memory, a moment that seem to last a lifetime. I am not sure if I make complete sense. But I think as humans we have a tendency to think very superficially... and a life without thought is an existence with no promise.
Happiness is a great thing and at a moment make us feel exhilarated, vibrant and alive, but like every other emotion it's fleeting. But something that is more vital, important and meaningful too me is living a life and being content. Looking to what I have and being satisfied and fulfilled. Not looking outside of myself to be "happy" but looking inside and seeking for that inner peace.
This is just the surface of my point hopefully I get to finish my thought some other time.
A.S.

Update!!!

So here is the dress that I am working on....she is beautiful in theory but ... I am beginning to think too much pink. I have two tears left so not bad.... but the gatherings is a bit frustrating. Sorry about the fuzzy pic but that's all I got for right now.

That's it for now.

A.S.