Hello Everyone,
As of late I have been thinking about how I can change my
blog to represent a more accurate portrayal of who I am and how I think. In the last seven years of attempting to make
garments I realized that I am not a fast sewer, but more importantly I am more
than a working progress in constructing garments. I am working progress as a woman. I see myself in the midst of allot of changes
and I want to bring that into my passion, my world, my love which is
sewing. By all means I am far from where
I want to be but I am far from where I started.
Thank God.
This really began when I was watching a youtube channel and
I had a particular fondness for an individual which I aspired to be. I haven’t watched her video in a long time so
I decided to make a quick visit. I
realized who I once was and who I am now may have altered my perception of who
and how she now fits in my life. I
realized I grew out of a certain phase, but more alarming I realized that in a
way she would have been a toxic contamination in my life if I followed her mind-set,
attitude and lifestyle. It wasn’t necessarily
in her behavior, it wasn’t in her message, it wasn’t even her intent. Honestly in her own way she tries to advise,
give tips and even encourage others. In my transition in life I have become more centered
and knowledgeable about what is good for me and what needs to change.
As of late I have been praying a great deal and trying to
build a solid relationship with the Lord.
I can only assume that has a huge impact on how I now see things. One thing I have noticed is a prostitution of
oneself….meaning people who are selling themselves for a price. In my years of growing up I have watched
loved ones offer themselves over for a cheap thrill, recognition, protection
and most importantly validation. I am beginning
to understand the true value of self-worth and respect. You can never purchase, enhance, change or
manipulate the source of who I am and what I believe. If I am truly in a good place with myself and
I cherish who I am then I cannot betray my principles for anyone’s convenience.
Believe me this is not coming from a better than thou mindset. It comes from a place of concern.
I am not talking about little girls who going out there
proving to their peers how bad or good they are. I am talking about grown women.
WOMEN!!!!!! As in above and way beyond
legal age. How did this happen? How did mature, educated, knowledgeable women
become…….(I leave it at that). How do
you claim to love yourself when you don’t even know your worth? I see them invest in new clothes, hair,
makeup, shoes, jewelry but never seem to take the time to discover
themselves. I see them invest in their
education get their bachelor, masters and some even Ph.D.’s but as educated and
intelligent as they are ….no work on self-actualization.
Now how does that relate to the video’s I used to watch? I realized that all of us grow old but some of
us never grow up. Intellectually, we can
rationalize things and make sense of a situation. But our emotional I.Q. our development as individuals
may have taken the backseat of our lives.
Like I stated before and I will state it again…I am not here to
judge. I am only aware because of the
changes I need to make in my life, which requires me to be selective as to who
I follow and who I will lead.
Anyway on that note.
More thoughts by me to you,
A.S.