Tuesday, October 10, 2017

So where have you been?

The last year has been a very trying one, health issues, family issues, relationship issues...it was all too much for me.  In the midst of all that was happening I started to spiral down into depression. My life as I know it was in shambles and I just couldn't figure out how I was going to move on.  After the second funeral that year, I decided to just stop.  I packed all my sewing supplies, fabric and tools and just was done.  My life no longer had any real significance, not at that point.
After seeking therapy, I started to feel better more focused.  But, there is always another challenge waiting on you at the most inconvenient time.  I realized that my marriage is over and what was funny about that (in hindsight) is that I always knew. It's difficult to explain because I am in the midst of it all. 
It's one thing to talk about a situation after it has been resolved.  It's another when you are still in battle mode.  I realize that this is the most vulnerable place I will ever be, so I need to write. Because someone out there has either started the journey or just got to their destination.  It's hard to live in a dead place, and not knowing if you are right for needing to move on.  Of course it's easier if the decision is made for you, like you found evidence of an affair, or financial deception or a physical blow.  But, when it's a complete dissatisfaction, emotional strain, mental exhaustion, spiritual drain and no consideration for you as a person.  You kind of question your reasons, you wonder if your asking too much or are you making excuses, are you deceiving yourself just because it's easier that way.  It's a different battle all together.
I write this because despite it all....I'm coming back.  And I feel different, I feel stronger and more able.  I write this because I know that I am resilient, beautiful, intelligent, strong and talented.  I write this because I know I can make a difference in my own life and as I walk in this very difficult path.  I hope that I encourage someone out there to make the first move in changing your life for the better and to encourage each other to be our best.
Simply living my life,

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Sunday best...

I won't even embarrass myself and even try to remember the pattern to this jacket.  It's an oldy but goody.

It's been awhile and this is an attempt to get back to my blogging game.  
Hope all is well,

Tuesday, May 17, 2016


Hey everyone,
      As some of you may notice, I have not been blogging for a long while.  Honestly, it's not because I don't love the art of garment construction, it's just been a very challenging year.  I have been to two funerals in the last couple of months and it's taking it's toll on me.  Plus, I have another relative that is going through some very difficult time with her health issues.  Right now things are looking up for her, she is getting treatment and is building strength along her recovery.  Knowing that makes things allot easier to handle.
    As for now I won't be sewing all that much, it just doesn't seem like the right time. I have a few things still laying around so I might make the adjustments, but nothing all that involved.
    Anyway, that's it for now.  I apologize for not putting in my two cents but I will be watching others do their thing.
Hope all is well,

Friday, December 25, 2015

Simplicity 1459 completed and worn

 So Halloween, Thanksgiving and now Christmas has come and gone.  It's about to be a brand new year and I am excited.  I look forward to see what will come my way.  So many more projects, ideas and ufo's that needs to be completed and worn. 
So now let me get started on a project that took two years to complete and that's the Halloween Dress.  I am so happy with the results.  I extended the collar about two inches in width because I wanted it to make a statement since it's more of a costume than an everyday garment, but, with the design of the print  I realized it got lost in translation.  Meaning that the change was not noticeable, at all.
I was suppose to make a belt to match the dress, but I didn't have the time nor did I care to do that.  The dress itself was so busy and making a matching belt would seem pointless.  Plus, buying a belt is so much more convenient. If I had more options I probably would pick a belt with a simpler buckle. The gold kind of clashed to me when worn without the sweater, add the sweater and everything seems to flow.
 You know it's weird how I have a sloper but fail to realize that I still have not made a sway back adjustment.  Oh well, I enjoyed wearing this dress and my family totally loved it.  I hope to make more for every Halloween and maybe throw in a few dresses for other Holidays too. 
Hope everyone is enjoying the Holiday's.  Have a Merry Christmas and an awesome New Year.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Mother said....

" You may be my passion, but you are not my purpose."  
I needed to hear those words.  I was feeling kind of off lately and wanted to be inspired by something, anything to get me going.  When I spoke to my mom about how I was feeling, she told me not to worry, things have a way of just working out on it's own. I may love a person, idea, dream or desire but it only works with true inspiration it can only flourish in it's own time.  She told me to also surround myself in a new environment, not let myself be stagnant and wait.  New environment can renew the mind, body and spirit (or start something new altogether).  She is so wise. I love that lady she always put me back on track, when things seems like they are falling apart.  She is why I love being me.  Thanks Mom.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

I made it from scratch......

Hello Everyone,
  As usual I was inspired by a dress I saw on Pinterest, and thought to myself.  I can do that.  Wellll, I kind of did.  I wanted a colorful dress with an African print (Ankara Fabric)but what I envisioned and what came about are two different stories.  Have you heard this before?
Don't get me wrong. I love my dress, I love all my waders.  They are like dysfunctional children, they might be loud, rambunctious, rude and sometimes inappropriate but their yours.  So damn it, I claim it, I love it and I am going to have to keep it.  Quiet frankly, no one else want's it....lol.

So here she is in all her glory....

This is my attempt in creating ruffles.  Can you see it?

Anyway, that's it for now.  I have sewn quiet a few things so expect some more interesting experiments. 
Hope all is well,

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Human Moments: Hidden Anger

Today was a very emotional day for me.  I am not sure if this only happens to me but there are times when something seemingly insignificant happens, turns into a chaotic, crazed, wrathful experience. 

I was in the middle lane of the highway and decided to change lanes to the furthest left.  Mind you I checked ensure there was enough room and signaled before merging into the left lane.  Then I changed lanes.  Now this is important right here because there is a belief you did something right followed protocol /procedure that you will get the right results.  But, no the person who was a good distance away decided to speed up change lanes and cut right in front of me.  I am not sure if the person was claiming position/territory, but I usually don’t let things of this nature get to me.  I do live in New York after all.

Something snapped, broke. (The nature of expectation.) I don’t know if I was holding too much in (being always cautious and careful).  Me always being rational, reasonable and usually just calm.  Me the stable, focus, emotionally intact human being lose it?  I lost it over something trivial, insignificant, an everyday occurrence.  What happened?  Who was I?  All I know I got dark fast, something took over my mind, spirit, body…I was so just done.  I tried to talking myself, but the more I talked the angrier I got.  At some point I started to pray but prayer turned into a rageful rant.  I was so frustrated angry, upset but most dangerously important I was vengeful.

I wanted to get her back in the worst way.  I mean car crashed into a wall of flames burnt body parts spewed all over the concrete ground. The darkness wouldn’t move it persist, it stayed and I knew I had to turn to God.   Something was eating me up and it wasn’t this.  I wanted to allow myself this small victory and even when I passed her for a brief moment. I refused to engage in battle, I wasn’t going to allow this to turn me into something I knew I wasn’t.  Because I realized it wasn’t about her.

My rage is coming from a place allot deeper.  The road represented my journey, my eagerness to get to my destination.( I knew this because in the midst of my rant I kept thinking about all the times I have been neglected, used, abused and not taken into consideration.)  Although I wasn’t being cut off from it but delayed and in my hurry I couldn’t afford the distraction, I couldn’t afford the hesitation.  

I didn’t want it to be in the obstacle but that’s life and I was tired, tired and fed up with being good, patient, and kind.  Fed up with being overlooked tired of feeling insignificant and insecure.  I cried and I raged, cried and raged some more. 

After I regained my composure.  I knew what would have been considered a breakdown was a breakthrough. Instead of allowing the situation to be an embarrassing incident, I knew it was an opportunity to let it all out.  My frustration, fear, anxiety, disappointment come through to the surface.  I had to let the tears fall because I need that cleansing.