Monday, April 12, 2010

Do you believe in signs? (not sewing related)

Hey everyone,
I have to start by being honest with you, today isn't such a good day not because it wasn't a beautiful day, because it was. But my cat died last night, she got hit by a car and I was just so pissed. Believe in me this isn't the first pet we have lost as a matter of fact it could be the 9th or 10th animal we lost. I don't know what is exactly wrong with my house or the people in my area but it seems that my family specifically isn't allowed to have/or own any animal without a tragic ending. Now could this be because we are bad owners? or not meant to have animals?
Sometimes I wonder allot about my life...I know for a fact that I am not considered to be in a very bad scenario (because it could always get from bad too worse) but nothing good seems to happen. I sometimes wonder if it is because of my attitude/outlook on life that makes things seem so gloomy or is it because I live a life that is just filled with sorrow that inevitably made me see things in a negative light.
It's funny though because the other night I had a dream that I was going to have to let someone go. I literally was standing on a cliff holding a lifeless body and forced to make a decision on either letting myself linger in sorrow or let the body drop. When I woke up I cried allot because of all the emotions I felt. I couldn't understand why I had to make such a horrible decision but in the end I had to let go and turn away. Then last night I had to pick up my cat's lifeless body and let her go. Some how I wasn't so distraught as my neighbor who was just beside herself (she is a real cat lover). I think in a way God was preparing me for a huge loss. (I lied I did cry allot but in my room with my 4 month old nephew who was sleeping.)
He (G0d) allowed me too feel all these things before I had to deal with the reality of my lost. I loved my cat MYA. She was the sweetest cat I ever owned, but unfortunately she ended up with us. Now she is gone.
So am I to believe that my dream was a sign? Or is there such a thing? And if the dream was about lost then should I prepare for more?


Carol said...

I totally believe in signs. Sometimes the things you need to let go of are thought patterns that are holding you back. You mention living a life filled with sorrow. Perhaps if you look at the positive things (and there are some I know) you can start to make a change. I say this because I have been exactly where you are now. Many years ago a colleague told me that I needed to stop being a victim. That was a slap in the face at the time and very hard to hear, but boy oh boy was it true. Now every time I start to feel sorry for myself, I find one good thing that has happened that day. It may be as simple as a stranger smiling at me on the street. I keep that good thing at the front of my thoughts and I always feel better. A friend of mine once told me that she believed that God never gave her life experiences that he didn't think she could handle. Look at your strengths. You might surprise yourself. In the meantime I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way.

Ambitious Sewer said...

Thankyou Carol for the words of encouragment and insight. You are right when I re-read the post it seem like I was feeling sorry for myself, and making excuses for my negativity (although the situation ask for tears) I don't have to stay there.
Thanks once again.

DawnSSL said...

Sister we have to choose not to stay in a state of sorrow. It has to be a conscious decision. We are all so much more blessed that we can see during time of pain. There is always someone less fortunate than we are. Stay strong and remember that "weeping only last for a night, but JOY comes in the morning(mourning). I too send you good thoughts and LOVE.

Ambitious Sewer said...

Thankyou Dawn your words are very kind.