Last night I wrote a post...and I admit while writing, I noticed allot of things I stated was out of pure ignorance. But at times, I think you need to be ignorant in order to learn to be and do better. I specifically remember statement #9, Until I read a wonderful post. Introduced by a favorite blogger....adrienneslittleworld.typepad.com.
Personally, I have allot of issues being a woman because... I wasn't taught to respect women. I wasn't taught to embrace being feminine because allot of times as I have witnessed in my life if you were caught vulnerable, kind, loving, soft or affectionate....then you will be screwed over. You were forced to be harsh, cruel and manipulative in order to survive.
I was raised by my grandmother who was as strong as a bull and sharper than any machete. She was wise, cunning, and a very proud woman. My mother in the other hand wasn't as strong willed as her mother and at times fell under her shadow. Don't get me wrong my mother wasn't a weak woman she could never afford to be....but she wasn't as vibrant.
What struck me is that people have a tendency to define what feminine is. I don't let people define who I am...only one being has the right to do so. I can be every bit feminine and be strong, combatant, and militant. It doesn't take anything away from me as a woman.
But I do agree with the idea that women do find themselves competing with men by imitating them. Is that wrong? Not really but it does take away from you being you. I can never really be ashamed of what and who I am. God made me in his image and made me to be who I am. Being a woman isn't a curse, but we are not limited by the roles that others try to force on us. That's why feminism is important to me. It should support the right to be a strong woman...as a woman. Not a weird twisted version of a man. That means if we choose to be corporate leaders or housewives...feminism should support both points of view especially now these days. We should have room for all kinds of women, with all kinds of lifestyle, traditions, and culture. The right to be women should not be excluded from anyone. Right or wrong? (I'm going on a tangent here, please forgive me.)
Now as an adult I still have allot of growing up to do. The older I get the more accepting I become and the more patient I am with myself. Also the more comfortable I am in my skin. I think in allot of ways we all have mimicked individuals and situations to have a basis of what we want and as we grow older, wiser and better we start creating our own version of what we truly want.
Am I making any sense here?
I’m going to sound crazy here but this reminds me of what Jada Pinket-Smith told Oprah on her final show. "You’re not a mother but you have mothered millions." Being a woman gives you the privilege and right to mentor, guide, love and nurture in ways that no one can. And even when you don't fulfill a traditional role....God makes a way to do your duty diligently without even noticing. That's why he will always have a final say....Amen.